Again,brother ali, i see that you still missing the points of some major but real issues going on here.
It seems that like most men you think sexual libido is a major goal in life.It is not.There are other things to do in life besides sex,women, and marriage.
I am sorry to say this but as you are from a one country/one culture atmosphere, i cannot expect you to understand the one nation/multiple culture existence i have to deal with and the problems that come with it.
What i am tired of, as most american muslims are, is the cultural dictatorship of both Indian/Pakistani and the Arabs in the communities here and the total disrespect we suffer because you cannot separate culture from iman.
As for women and marriage, the man who can successfully admit that the price for these luxuries in today's world is a gamble and a risk and is often too high is saving himself from adding more problems to an already doomed life!!!!!
Mar 24, 2008 Rating
To Brother of Darkness by: Ali
Suppose if there would be no sex from day one. And suppose today all males/females decide that they shall have no sex in any form. What would be the ultimate result?
Mar 24, 2008 Rating
Second Marriage is Better Than Celibacy??????? by: Brother of Darkness
My response is this:no is brave enough anymore to fight community peer pressure and admit that in today's world, sex and companionship and iman cannot be equally balanced anymore.
I stand by my original statement that sex is a worn out,misused,ancient,problem making human ritual that is truely disgusting,useless,and a waste of time as it is only a tool for furthering society's problems....and is NOT equal to the power of duty,iman, and striving for spiritual enlightenment.
Sexual libido is a weakness that has brought down men since the beginning of time.
Mar 24, 2008 Rating
Second Marriage is Better Than Celibacy? by: Brother of Darkness
In response to Ali, how is a 2nd marriage better than solitude/celibacy? Why not 8 more failures? or 50?
psychology is not the issue; i am very sane. But i am afraid that the response from this brother were typical: cardboard and without substance, another example of why a Muslim man is held in ridicule because he chooses to concentrate on things other than sexual libido and cravings of the flesh.It is a real problem situation that is often hushed up in most communities, with the man who complains being held up for ridicule.Besides, there is more to life than sex,women,marriage, and children. I am only addressing things that most Muslims know but are afraid to face, especially among men who have had enough of getting hurt over and over. In Riyad Saliheen, the Prophet(saws)saw a young man being chastised by other men and his peers for not being more agressive and libido towards women;the Prophet(saws)himself said there is no shame if a man is shy and quiet, rather than chasing like most men do.
It took me only 1 failed marriage to teach me to quit.How can re-marrying over and over and over solve the problem?
I'm sorry but in today's world, most marriages are a drain and curse on one's sanity rather than a blessing; it's just that no one wants to admit it.
Mar 19, 2008 Rating
Brother of Darkness is Not Insane by: Ali
I have nowhere mentioned that brother of darkness is insane. I know that he had gone through a serious incident 10 years back. Since then he has developed hate for the institution of marriage. I suggested a psychological consultation just for the fact that 'brother of darkness' has developed too extreme opinion on his experience. I didn't mention at all that he is insane.
Mar 18, 2008 Rating
The Reality Outside The Old World by: Anonymous
Brother Ali-
Brother of Darkness is more in tune with the real, unspoken, and often hushed up problems of Muslim men today than you are because he is living in the West, where Muslims cannot expect to get help from the community without embarrassment.
Not only that, he is correct when he said that it is better to give up while you are behind than to keep trying and continuously failing.
I know; after 5 marriages and divorces, i wish now i gave up after the first one. The ugly truth is this, brother Ali: modern muslimahs don't need us men anymore.
Brother of Darkness is,alhamdulilah,very psychologically sound, but is hurting and only allah can be of true comfort and healing than the physical pleasures of the flesh.Libido is not for everyone,something some people are too stupid to understand.
Mar 18, 2008 Rating
Brother of Darkness is quite sane and correct by: Ahmed(USA)
Brother of Darkness: Salam!
I do not believe you have any psychological problems as you are brave to go against the mainstream and tell it like it is.
My experiences are similar to yours and like you, i do believe that it is better to be alone with my iman and sanity intact than to keep being hurt over and over again.
This is something brother Ali in Pakistan could never comprehend about the reality of Muslims in the USA.
Don't worry because i believe Allah is truly with you!!!!
