Russian Wedding Customs have no Religious Background
Russian Wedding Customs are governed by the law of the land. If you are a Russian bride, you will have the most uncomplicated and simple wedding. The man you fancy will have to ask you for your consent to the marriage. If you are agreeable, you will jointly make an application to the ZAGS for a date of marriage. (The term ‘ZAGS’ stands for Zapis Aktov Grazhdanskogo Sostoyaniya, the Registry office for births, death, marriages and divorces in Russia.)
The Civil Ceremony and Russian Wedding Customs
The Russians do not accept Church marriages or other religious ceremonies in Russian Wedding Customs. Only marriages registered at the ZAGS are recognized as legal. So, all Russian marriages are registered at the ZAGS. Once you have done that, you are automatically in the “waiting period” of a month prescribed by the ZAGS. While you wait, you do not have to plan for engagement ceremonies or inform your friends and relatives about your intent to wed. The waiting time will be fruitfully used in confirming your intent to wed the person you have chosen. If you feel that you cannot wed him at the end of the waiting period, you are free to rescind from the agreement by merely withdrawing the application. You will, of course, forfeit any fees paid with the application. You do not have to worry about bridesmaids, bouquets and all the other little things that western or oriental brides worry about before the wedding. There will be no bridesmaids, groomsmen and a host of paraphernalia attached to weddings. You will, however, have to make your own wedding dress or buy one. The civil ceremony, you will find, is normally accompanied by a lot of boisterous fun. You will find that when the groom goes to get the bride before the ceremony, he must fight his way to the apartment. The path to the brides house will be decorated with posters with jokes about family life and wedding. At each stairwell, he will be asked a question and he cannot pass, until he has answered them all correctly. The groom is expected to prepare a script and read it out at the wedding and so on.
On the wedding day, you and your groom will have to order or hire a large number of cars (long black cars preferred) for taking you to the wedding venue –the ZAGS. Your groom will come for you at your apartment, but you will travel in a separate car with a doll on the bonnet or a pair of intertwined rings on the top of the car to indicate that it is a wedding procession. Your groom will travel in a separate car. The entire procession will be followed by guests in (black) cars hired by you or in their own cars. The more the number of cars in the procession, the greater is the display of wealth in the wedding. In Russian wedding customs the wedding ceremony is a civil ceremony called brakosochetanie. The family of the bride and the groom attending the wedding will feed the bride and groom pieces of bread and salt for prosperity and then they will sign in the register confirming their intent to wed. This will be witnessed by two friends or family members who will also sign in the register. Thereafter, the bride and the groom will exchange rings called “engagement rings”. These rings will be worn on the right hand next to the pinky finger. Interestingly you will notice that Russians who are divorced wear the “engagement ring” in the left hand next to the left pinky to indicate their marital status.
After this ceremony, you and your groom will leave for a city tour, which will last 2-3 hours. The purpose of the tour is for you to visit the memorials of those who have served your nation and to pay homage to them. Thereafter you will return to a wedding reception that will last for over two days. Your guests will toast to your happiness and break the champagne glasses and then spend the rest of the time eating, drinking and dancing. They will have to buy the knives and forks with which they eat. The bride must also clean the room after the reception amidst teasing and raillery from the guests. If you or your groom drops the ring during the ceremony, it is considered a bad omen. The empty ring box also should not be given by the groom to the bride. It must be given to an unmarried girl, hopeful of wedding soon. Unmarried girls in Russian weddings customs will secretly drag the table cloth with the wedding dinner on it towards themselves. This act is supposed to bring luck to the girl. It is also believed that catching the bridal bouquet is lucky for the unmarried. Finally, Russians believe that couples who do not make love on their wedding night are doomed to unhappiness! So you must make love on the wedding night!
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