If you are not past this situation. You should do the following:
1. Find out what would make your wife happy? What does she need in order to be happy and be the type of wife you need. Not live with her in-laws (get her a separate house if you can afford it). Try to make it work.
2. Go to counseling.
3. If nothing will resolve the issues, then divorce her. These days divorce is so common that you won't have trouble finding another wife. If it is hard in Pakistan, ask your parents if you can look for a suitable wife in UK. There are many women who are divorced and wouldn't mind marrying you and some women who haven't gotten married may not mind a divorce either.
Sep 20, 2009 Rating
sorry about ur situation by: Anonymous
this is sad the pakistani costoms totally unislamic . u are allowed to see the women u marry b4 u marry or even agree to marry her . from what u said it sounds like ur wife doesnt wanna be in the marriage either , it seems more like she was also forced to accept or accepted to plz her parents . her actions show she wants to devorce but doesnt wana be the reason for the end of ur marriage . my advice make something good happen from all the bad done , ur parents made a mistake for not fallowing islam when it came to ur marriage . so fix that and end ur relation with ur wife then marry again the right way :)
May 22, 2009 Rating
Consultation by: Admin
Your problem is severer than I had thought...
* You are from tribal belt... (Your re-marriage may create permanent enmity with your in laws)
* You live in UK (Local laws may not allow you to remarry).
* You can't divorce your wife (You have to live with her).
I think you should consult some lawyer who is specialize in such issues.
Regards Saqib
May 16, 2009 Rating
PROBLEM WITH MY MARRIAGE by: Anonymous
Thanks for reply back. I am in UK at the moment. I cant go to Nazim its going to create problems for my family back home. Can i marry in UK. I dont know iam bearing this situation for the last 8 months. More pressure has been put on me from my wife relatives that i cant marry. So getting married in pakistan is out of question. I have suffered so much that i dont want to live with her but i cant divorce her. I belong to tribal belt and there is no law and regulations.
thanks.
May 16, 2009 Rating
Marriage Problem by: Admin
Mr. N...
A.A
It is not clear from your questions whether you still live in Pakistan or gone to U.K. Secondly, whether your wife lives in Pakistan or U.K.
Supposing you and your wife live in Pakistan, it is a serious problem. Though Islamic jurisprudence allows second marriage without consent of your existing wife/wives or any authority. However, Pakistani law does not permit second marriage without permission from the Nazim of your local union council. If you marry without this approval, your marriage would be valid but you may be imprisoned for six months. Secondly, you shall hand over a tool to your in laws to black mail yourself.
If you don't want to divorce your wife, then you should apply to your local union council Nazim for permission to remarry. He shall issue a notice to your wife. If she appears and gives her consent, you can remarry.
Another way to handle the problem is filing a civil suit for restitution of conjugal rights. Most probably you shall have a decree if your wife does not return. But there is no way to implement the decree. You can stop paying her any kind of maintenance. Now her parents shall have either to bear her maintenance or to send her to you.
I think second advice shall help you more than the first one.
