well i think that you should just leave your husband defently he dosen't show any intrest on you or care. he will realize when you two are gone but i know that buy them it will be too late but you know what i see a diffrent future for you and your baby. a place fufill with love and joy and some one how can support you on your side. take my advise ones he did'it he will do it to you again. wish you the best!
Oct 09, 2009 Rating
the most detestable of the lawful things in allah eyes is divorce by: Anonymous
i m 18 year old .....
n
ma advice
is
get up in tahajjud n say allah in dua (till he get all right)
ya allah give ma husband hidayath
"ya allah meray shohar ko hidayat de de"
inshallah he will become good
u try to this .......
inshallah he will becom good
u offer all the 5 prayers......u r muslim ...u do that i know....
try to get up in tahajjud
atleast for 40 days.....without any leave
....n pray
anywayz
wasalaam
take care
Dec 14, 2008 Rating
Do Not Join In With His Activities by: F
Dear Sister,
Do Not Join In With His Activities. For if you did so, it would go against your Islam and create more sin, and be haraam!
You cannot ever sacrifice your faith, for anything like this, insha’Allah.
& for pure advice, in Islam a marriage should be a source for bliss and happiness. If this does not exist, this is a situation where you should not and do not have to force yourself to be in.
Khulu’: Divorce initiated on part of the wife.
According to Shari’a terminology, khulu’ refers to a woman’s right of cancellation of her marriage. Just as a man can divorce if he has a genuine objection, similarly, a woman may also have a khulu’ if she has a GENUINE excuse, and after returning the dowry ( mahr or sadaaq). Some of the valid reasons for a woman to ask for a Khulu’ include disliking her husband’s treatment (such as being hot tempered, over-strict, one who criticises her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming). Another valid reason is she may dislike her husband’s physical appearance due to some deformity or ugliness, or one of his faculties is lacking. Other reasons a woman may instigate divorce is if her husband is lacking in religious commitment. For example, he doesn’t pray, or does not fast in Ramadan without proper excuse, or he goes to parties, whereby the barriers of Allah are transgressed (such as fornication, drinking alcohol, listening to singing and musical instruments). A woman may also ask for a divorce if her husband does not give a woman her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste due to being impotent.. It is crucial to point out there must be a valid reason behind asking for khulu’.
Also remember: -
The Prophet (saw) said: “If any woman asks for divorce from her husband without any specific reason, will not smell the fragrance of paradise.”
The Prophet (saw) said: “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce.”
This hadith shows divorce is among the legal things that are halal, but not good.
Also, personally looking at your situation with your husband's past affairs - I really do feel for you - as what's happened is that the affair he had had with the woman he is now still in contact with still - before he met you he had wished to be with her and marry her. Yet the family did not allow him, which I feel is a mistake, and causes mayhem in innocent sister's lives just as yours dear sister.
The parents in this situation, should allow these marriages in the first place if there had been initial interest bewteen two people, not force and manipulate them into other relationships to cover up pasts. This may even cause rebellion, which could be why your husband is missing a connection with you. Also, his imaan does not appear to be strong, or he would NOT be watching blue movies and contacting past acquaintances. Insha'Allah I du'a that Islam can convert him to be devoted to you, and realise what a cherished wife and treasure he really has!
Ameen.
Your sister in Islam. F.
Dec 14, 2008 Rating
Do Not Join In With His Activities... by: F
Dear Sister,
Do Not Join In With His Activities. For if you did so, it would go against your Islam and create more sin, and be haraam!
You cannot ever sacrifice your faith, for anything like this, insha’Allah.
& for pure advice, in Islam a marriage should be a source for bliss and happiness. If this does not exist, this is a situation where you should not and do not have to force yourself to be in.
Khulu’: Divorce initiated on part of the wife.
According to Shari’a terminology, khulu’ refers to a woman’s right of cancellation of her marriage. Just as a man can divorce if he has a genuine objection, similarly, a woman may also have a khulu’ if she has a GENUINE excuse, and after returning the dowry ( mahr or sadaaq). Some of the valid reasons for a woman to ask for a Khulu’ include disliking her husband’s treatment (such as being hot tempered, over-strict, one who criticises her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming). Another valid reason is she may dislike her husband’s physical appearance due to some deformity or ugliness, or one of his faculties is lacking. Other reasons a woman may instigate divorce is if her husband is lacking in religious commitment. For example, he doesn’t pray, or does not fast in Ramadan without proper excuse, or he goes to parties, whereby the barriers of Allah are transgressed (such as fornication, drinking alcohol, listening to singing and musical instruments). A woman may also ask for a divorce if her husband does not give a woman her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste due to being impotent.. It is crucial to point out there must be a valid reason behind asking for khulu’.
Also remember: -
The Prophet (saw) said: “If any woman asks for divorce from her husband without any specific reason, will not smell the fragrance of paradise.”
The Prophet (saw) said: “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce.”
This hadith shows divorce is among the legal things that are halal, but not good.
Also, personally looking at your situation with your husband's past affairs - I really do feel for you - as what's happened is that the affair he had had with the woman he is now still in contact with still - before he met you he had wished to be with her and marry her. Yet the family did not allow him, which I feel is a mistake, and causes mayhem in innocent sister's lives just as yours dear sister.
The parents in this situation, should allow these marriages in the first place if there had been initial interest bewteen two people, not force and manipulate them into other relationships to cover up pasts. This may even cause rebellion, which could be why your husband is missing a connection with you. Also, his imaan does not appear to be strong, or he would NOT be watching blue movies and contacting past acquaintances. Insha'Allah I du'a that Islam can convert him to be devoted to you, and realise what a cherished wife and treasure he really has!
Ameen.
Your sister in Islam. F.
Dec 14, 2008 Rating
Do Not Join In With His Activities... by: Anonymous
Dear Sister,
Do Not Join In With His Activities. For if you did so, it would go against your Islam and create more sin, and be haraam!
You cannot ever sacrifice your faith, for anything like this, insha’Allah.
& for pure advice, in Islam a marriage should be a source for bliss and happiness. If this does not exist, this is a situation where you should not and do not have to force yourself to be in.
Khulu’: Divorce initiated on part of the wife.
According to Shari’a terminology, khulu’ refers to a woman’s right of cancellation of her marriage. Just as a man can divorce if he has a genuine objection, similarly, a woman may also have a khulu’ if she has a GENUINE excuse, and after returning the dowry ( mahr or sadaaq). Some of the valid reasons for a woman to ask for a Khulu’ include disliking her husband’s treatment (such as being hot tempered, over-strict, one who criticises her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming). Another valid reason is she may dislike her husband’s physical appearance due to some deformity or ugliness, or one of his faculties is lacking. Other reasons a woman may instigate divorce is if her husband is lacking in religious commitment. For example, he doesn’t pray, or does not fast in Ramadan without proper excuse, or he goes to parties, whereby the barriers of Allah are transgressed (such as fornication, drinking alcohol, listening to singing and musical instruments). A woman may also ask for a divorce if her husband does not give a woman her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste due to being impotent.. It is crucial to point out there must be a valid reason behind asking for khulu’.
Also remember: -
The Prophet (saw) said: “If any woman asks for divorce from her husband without any specific reason, will not smell the fragrance of paradise.”
The Prophet (saw) said: “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce.”
This hadith shows divorce is among the legal things that are halal, but not good.
Also, personally looking at your situation with your husband's past affairs - I really do feel for you - as what's happened is that the affair he had had with the woman he is now still in contact with still - before he met you he had wished to be with her and marry her. Yet the family did not allow him, which I feel is a mistake, and causes mayhem in innocent sister's lives just as yours dear sister.
The parents in this situation, should allow these marriages in the first place if there had been initial interest bewteen two people, not force and manipulate them into other relationships to cover up pasts. This may even cause rebellion, which could be why your husband is missing a connection with you. Also, his imaan does not appear to be strong, or he would NOT be watching blue movies and contacting past acquaintances. Insha'Allah I du'a that Islam can convert him to be devoted to you, and realise what a cherished wife and treasure he really has!
Ameen.
Your sister in Islam. F.
Dec 14, 2008 Rating
by: Anonymous
Dear Sister,
For if he did so, it would go against your Islam and would create more sin, and be haraam.
You cannot ever sacrifice your faith, for anything like this, insha’Allah.
& for pure advice for you, in Islam a marriage should be a source for bliss and happiness. If this does not exist, this is a situation where you should not and do not have to force yourself to be in.
Khulu’: Divorce initiated on the part of the wife.
According to Shari’a terminology, khulu’ refers to a woman’s right of cancellation of her marriage. Just as a man can divorce if he has a genuine objection, similarly, a woman may also have a khulu’ if she has a GENUINE excuse, and after returning the dowry ( mahr or sadaaq). Some of the valid reasons for a woman to ask for a Khulu’ include disliking her husband’s treatment (such as being hot tempered, over-strict, one who criticises her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming). Another valid reason is she may dislike her husband’s physical appearance due to some deformity or ugliness, or one of his faculties is lacking. Other reasons a woman may instigate divorce is if her husband is lacking in religious commitment. For example, he doesn’t pray, or does not fast in Ramadan without a proper excuse, or he goes to parties, whereby the barriers of Allah are transgressed (such as fornication, drinking alcohol, listening to singing and musical instruments). A woman may also ask for a divorce if her husband does not give a woman her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste due to being impotent.. It is crucial to point out there must be a valid reason behind asking for a khulu’.
Also to remember: -
The Prophet (saw) said: “If any woman asks for divorce from her husband without any specific reason, will not smell the fragrance of paradise.”
The Prophet (saw) said: “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce.”
This hadith shows divorce is among the legal things that are halal, but not good.
Also, personally looking at your situation with your husband's past affairs - I really do feel for you - as what's happened is that the affair he had had with the woman he is now still in contact with still - before he met you he had wished to be with her and marry her. Yet the family did not allow him, which I feel is a mistake, and causes mayhem in innocent sister's lives just as yours dear sister.
The parents in this situation, should allow these marriages in the first place if there had been initial interest bewteen two people, not force and manipulate them into other relationships to cover up pasts. This may even cause rebellion, which could be why your husband is missing a connection with you. Also, his imaan does not appear to be strong, or he would NOT be watching blue movies and contacting past acquaintances. Insha'Allah I du'a that Islam can convert him to be devoted to you, and realise what a cherished wife and treasure he really has.
Ameen.
Your sister in Islam. F.
Aug 22, 2008 Rating
A Negative Advice to Save Your Marriage? by: Saqib-Admin
I have considered your problem very seriously. There are missing links and a bit of contradictory information in your story. The questions pop up:
When your husband can establish physical relations with other girls, why can't he do so with you? If he has less than normal sexual desires why does he watch blue films?
You know Quran terms wife and husband as dresses to each other. Whatever desire a partner has, one should go to the 'dress'.
Try to find out the ways that excite him. Though it may be a bit negative advice but you can share his internet sessions. Most of the Asian men do not like their wives to see genital parts of other males. Show your interest anyway. During your session(s), you may start a discussion that you don't like to see genitals of other males why men do so. You can turn your discussions slowly to your sexual life. Try to ask him what does he like. Most probably, you shall find a solution for your physical needs as well as mental satisfaction.
God Bless You!
Aug 21, 2008 Rating
Sex in Muslim Family Life by: Saqib-Admin
I shall respond to your question within next 24 hours.
